Don't say you haven't been warned

A partial list of things that Fergus urgently wants to tell you could very well kill us all...

• Ropes with tennis balls on the end


• Blenders


• Egg cookers


• Ceiling fans on the lowest speed


• Balls that are just sitting there on the ground and not being thrown


• Elliptical exercise machines


• Ugly light fixtures


• Anyone at the door, including us


• Bicycles


• Public displays of affection


• Tea kettles


• Rearranged furniture


• Thunder


• Garage door openers


• Cats, damn cats


• Vaccum cleaners and their nefarious accomplices, brooms

And never take your eyes off the cows. They're planning something...