We had a failed eviction from the chicken coop this morning. Ms. Tami, who does not seem to appreciate his status as a charity case, has worn out his welcome (and is now big enough to draw blood) so we were going to put him back in the front yard to fend for himself against the raccoons. But he's bigger now than the first time he got kicked out of the coop, so he just flew right back into the back yard to be near his girls. Which I might consider gallant, except that he's a jerk. He can't be in the back yard because he'd probably peck our dogs' eyes out, so now he's back in the coop. Plan B - find somebody who wants to "adopt" him for dinner.

We've been in Florida for three years, but I just played my first games of beach volleyball since leaving UC-San Diego 18 years ago. And I was as good as I ever was! Unfortunately.

A gator hunter pulled a seven-footer out of the pond on our neighbors side this evening. I'm not worried, since I'm pretty sure the rooster Miss Tami could have taken him if necessary.

We finally have a guest room! I especially like having this here because now I'm no longer the oldest thing in this house.

In the pharmaceutical industry they say that, given all the costs of research and development, the first pill of a new drug costs $800 million to produce, and all the pills after that cost one penny. With that in mind, I present to you The $300 Eggs. Now, bring on the free omlettes!

I know we were asking for this, but after this morning's cock-a-doodle-doing there can be no doubt: Both Miss Tamiami Tails and Miss Beneva Fruitville, the two newborn hens that we named after local drag queen celebrities, have both turned out to actually be roosters.

After I was finished, I decided I should make my New Year's Resolution to be building an outdoor kitchen. And it was instantly fulfilled!